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Carabella's Blog – May 2009 Archive (9)

coming to an end....

Today, I finished moving into my mom's house. I am so extremely exhausted, not only from moving in three days...but b/c it didn't get under 90 degrees here the whole time i was moving. That's the dirty south for ya! :D I needed a good sweat, it feels very cleansing. I'm good and tired...gonna get some real rest tonight, b/c i earned it. that is always a good feeling to me. Logan and I have made amends and are gonna stay friends (bff) i was hoping that after 6 1/2 years that it would at least… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 31, 2009 at 4:38pm — 1 Comment

under construction

Knowing you,
knowing this...
could've been more,
could've been bliss.

Chose not to jump,
chose not to dive.
maybe its the only thing,
that will keep me alive.

I let it go,
I let it slip.
thought it was turning,
thought it was gonna flip.

never made it that far,
never let it consume me.
did i close my eyes to it,
or fail what was to be?

never knew then,
never i will.

Added by Carabella on May 30, 2009 at 6:30pm — No Comments

UNCHAINED

I have it chained,

this demon within.

It wants to break free,

needs to taste some sin.

Touch me with words,

touch me with sighs.

Caress me with your skin,

Take me with your eyes.

I want to break it,

let this demon be free.

Want to unleash it,

let it be what it wants to be.

Anything less....

wouldn't be right.

Anything more....

and I'll lose all sight.

Just give me what I need,

satisfy me to the core.

Fill… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 29, 2009 at 11:56am — 3 Comments

Starve It Til' It Dies

Afraid of what?

Afraid of it all.

Won't let them hurt me.

Won't allow myself to fall.

Just put up your barriers,

that'll make it painless.

Noone can breach them,

but everything comes with danger.

Too many emotions,

only one heart.

Not enough time,

of course I push to part.

My easy escape,

my one way ticket out.

Nothing seems to sway me,

nothing to change my doubts.

Can't let this happen,

I already know the… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 29, 2009 at 5:19am — No Comments

time out

For those of you who know the happenings of my life, you know that I am in the process of moving and starting over currently. I am moving out today, thus meaning I will be losing the laptop. I won't be on here quite as often from now on. I have no intentions of buying a new laptop or anything. For anyone who needs me just leave me a message on here and I will of course get back to you as soon as I can. Those of you whom I've given my number too, I gave it to you for a reason....so if you need… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 28, 2009 at 9:06am — 2 Comments

Peace Seeking and Bound

Hold it down,

Hold it back.

Don't let it out,

Just don't want to crack.

Turn them into normal,

Create something real.

Not sure where to start,

Never wanted to know how this feels.

Tell me all I need to hear,

knowing I need peace.

Use my emotions to turn me,

until the pressure isn't ceasing.

Shape the words into love,

my soul yearns for this.

It is my sadistic medicine,

that I want to shove away.

I'm told I have to… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 28, 2009 at 6:25am — No Comments

The Parting

My words are chaos,

how can i expect you to understand?

My thoughts a tornado,

tearing away all that was planned.

To leave you like this,

bitter,broken, unkown...

brings emotion that cannot be shown.

You, brought me to life

made me realize my worth.

You, will always have my love

and I could never thank you enough.

The things we wanted

almost so real you could touch them.

Just a matter of road in between,

became impossible it… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 28, 2009 at 6:00am — No Comments

Retreat

At a time in my life when I feel like all barriers should be up, b/c I am so emotionally vulnerable, it seems like they are nonexistent. My emotions tend to be out of control these days. I'm a normally somewhat grounded person. It seems at a time when a person feels this way, all the things that make you feel like a wonderful/horrible person create a tornado of chaos in your head. I'm almost frozen in fear of the next step in my life b/c of this. I know how much I have to look forward to, and I… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 23, 2009 at 11:20am — 2 Comments

blessed with new beginnings

I woke up today realizing how incredibly blessed i am. To have so many people who care about me and love me, and appreciate me for the person I am. To be able to walk out of my front door and see all the beauty and wonder in Mother Nature, and to be able to let her heal me. To be able to have the freedom of choice in my life, to know that what I choose is because I am passionate about it and I feel that it will lead me to better things in life. I feel blessed that I can express myself through… Continue

Added by Carabella on May 15, 2009 at 11:26am — 3 Comments


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