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If you are healthy in body, mind, and spirit you probably want a rich and fulfilling sex life. If you are a woman brought up in the Muslim, Christian, or Judaic tradition you were probably told you can’t have it. Sex is dirty, what bad girls do and what can only lead to hardship unless sanctified by the sacrament of marriage. Sex is bad. (See Christianity). If you are a male you were probably told not to associate with "bad girls".
But that is a lie. Sex is good. Of course the world we live in has taken a totally good thing and added a disclaimer, “Between healthy consenting adults, sex is good.”
It was not always so. Juliet was thirteen years old. Nobody got AIDS. But today we have to be more careful.
Having said that, a witch is not bound by puritanical repression in this day and age (for now at least). And the whole of the law is: Do what you will, long as it harms none.
In other words, just do it.
Of course, if you don’t want to have sex nobody has any right to coerce you. That goes double for a person in authority. Never allow anyone to force you in any way to have sex.
Having said that, a witch is above all a healer. Mercy sex is not only allowed--as long as it harms none--but encouraged. Especially some of you hunky men out there. Go for a ride with a woman a few pounds overweight. I guarantee you’ll have a wonderful time. Really. Sex is incredibly healing.
So, when a chance comes to soar with eagles or stoop to help an injured bird, take it. In the end, the things we regret most are the things we never did. It's all up to you and no other. At least as a solitary witch.
However, in some covens sex is part of the ritual, though not mandatory or even typical. Even the fact that many witches practice skyclad (naked) is a recent addition. We do not know what the ancients wore but we do know that Gerald Gardener founded a nudist lodge where they performed their rituals and ceremonies skyclad and practiced the “Great Rite”.
I'm not saying Gardner made the whole thing up to get laid. Hey, people can make up anything they want--and often do--but it never makes a lasting imprint on the real world. There are presently millions of people all over the world who subscribe to the ideas presented in Gardner's books. So he must have been hooked into something.
Anyway . . .
The Great Rite is a ceremony where two people take the charge of the Goddess and the Horned God--I'll say! Traditionally, the Goddess then lies on the floor with arms and legs outstretched in the form of a pentagram.
Sex is performed in the manner preferred by the chosen couple, though usually the interaction is highly charged--often taking on a life of it's own. One of those times when the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. It's the two of you plus a generous helping of one or more ethereal entities: Gods and Goddesses, typically divine but sometimes extremely profane.
However, the tradition dates from an age where woman were rarely sexually liberated. A Great Rite that generates sexual energies using a balance between the male and female energies can be found at The Great Rite.
After all, the ancient Gods and Goddesses were a highly sexed Beings, the stuff of legends .
Hades abducted Persephone to the underworld for six months of the year-- just imagine. The Egyptian Sky Goddess Nuit is often pictured descending on the ithyphallic Earth God, Geb. Their sex creates and sustains the visible Universe. Diana maintained an image of chastity but often seduces human lovers of both sexes. And then there was Eos, the Goddess of Hot.
And then there's the entire Vedic tradition where sex is always the realm of the God/dess. The Kama Sutra wasn't just a sex manual but a sex magyc.
In fact, there are hundreds of Gods and Goddesses dedicated to sex.
For an extensive list visit http://wuzzle.org/cave/lovegods.html. You'll be able to use your back button to get past the age eighteen screening.
But it wasn't just partying--though that's as good a reason as any. There was a divine purpose for our deities to engage in sex.
Sexual ritual was needed to assure fertility and plenty for humanity. The Great Goddess, is first and foremost a Goddess of fertility. So, sex is a good thing, a great thing, a necessary thing.
Do you get the impression I'm in favor of sex?
Just the same, most covens I’m familiar with symbolize the mating of God and Goddess. The Athame represents the God’s phallus and the chalice the womb of the Goddess. Most do not perform group rituals skyclad but prefer robs. Sometimes it's just as well . . .
Personally, I chose to perform my private rituals skyclad and public ones in either a white, black or burgundy robe. The choice is up to you. As for the Great Rite, I prefer that to be with someone I am already involved with. But I will share a secret with you.
Not everyone I’ve known was into witchcraft. Some were only vaguely aware that I practice. Sometimes, depending on the person, I would secretly take the Charge of the Goddess (Drawing Down the Moon) before making love (it could be any Goddess of love, Isis, Venus, Aradia, Aphrodite, Eos, they're all hotties). What seems to happen with me is that my body is taken over by the Goddess to the point where I will have to think hard to remember what actually occurred. (Another possibility is taking the charge of Pan or Eros: Drawing down the Sun.)
What happens is that during the experience my mind seems to be elsewhere and all I can recall is the incredible intensity of the experience.
One word of caution, please don’t release the God or Goddess too soon—especially if your partner is unaware who he or she have actually been with. Your own person can snap back so abruptly it breaks the bond in a manner not unlike pulling a Band-Aid off a wound leaving your private self as separate as before you began.
Best to let things cool down slowly. If you are sleeping together the Goddess will leave you in the night. If you have to get up and continue your day wait until your shower or when you are in the car.
One more thing, don’t take the Charge with someone you are not sure of. My experience is that once your lucky lover has hooked up with a God or Goddess in your flesh they never get enough. Another concern is when both partners take the charge.
It became a problem for me once.
I was living with a practicing witch who took the Charge, as did I. Talk about fireworks! But everything else between us was wrong, as was the sex when we were just ourselves. So much of the rest of the relationship came to bed with us that it got in the way. Eventually, I came to feel that Isis and Osiris we’re enjoying our relationship far more than we were. So be careful.
However, we are not always in a position to have sex with a partner.
In that case, let me recommending communing with a God/dess individually.
Most people masturbate to relieve the tension until something better comes along. But that misses the point. Aren’t you going to take care of yourself at least as well as a lover?
Have a date with yourself and a God/dess. I know it seems a bit presumptions but they love it as much as you will. It’s the ultimate devotion. So don’t just beat around the bush or jerk off. Seduce yourself as if you were a God/dess seducing a mortal. It isn’t a big stretch, Gods and Goddesses were always getting biz-zay with we mere mortals. Can’t imagine the fascination for us but glad of it.
In addition, the practice will keep you loose and limber for the next encounter you have with a fellow mortal. Of course, by that time you may not want mere mortal flesh, certainly aren't going to jump through hoops to get it. One day you will wake up and you will be in charge of your libido and not the other way around.
I absolutely recommend this: Don’t be with someone just because you need sex. That simple idea could end world hunger and more, it could end the eternal struggle between men and women. If we truly came together out of love instead of need what a difference that would make.
So when there’s no one don’t despair, the God/dess will see you through. And the best part is that you will be learning an essential truth of magycal power:
No one can do magyc that can't focus.
But how do you learn to focus? Stare at rocks all day?
Fortunately, the very same focus so essential to magyc is the same focus needed for satisfying sex, with or without a partner. But I think it's better alone--at least when it comes to practicing focus--because you get to set the pace, amongst other things. So learning to control your libido instead of it controlling you will also help you focus your magycal workings. It's the same thing.
Magyc, like sex, is in the doing. Let me repeat that: Magyc, like sex, is in the doing. And no amount of theory or research can substitute for the real thing. In this way, sex, like nothing else, teaches us the focus needed to do magyc.
Specifically, focus means being in the absolute present. With sex we usually start out in our heads with a near total lack of focus. We're gnawing on past events and worrying the future--everywhere but Now. As we do our stuff* our focus changes to the physical until our brain is just along for the ride and eventually forgotten as our sexual awareness grows until there is nothing else. (I'm always amazed how my little lamb can be so quiet all day, sleeping, forgotten, and then become so monumental and all consuming--taking over my entire Being during sex.)
Wait--try to hang on the very edge--go for about 99% of the intensity of the final orgasm--which is about a hundred times better than a regular orgasm when it finally happens.
The trick, for me at least, is to totally relax every other part of my body and focus my entire consciousness on my erogenous zones. Once this happens, my center of consciousness can be shifted to any other convenient area of the body to the point where contact with my usual center of response can be removed. In this way, a whole body orgasm can be attained.
Here we feel the Universal Energy (see Is Magyc Real)
flowing into and out of the center of our Being, as if we are the Center of the Universe.
The best way I can describe this continuous orgasm is speed, like rushing or flying at supersonic speeds.
The Power builds in every part of the body tingling like an electric charge or like falling into the sky. Or maybe like an Olympic luge ride into the night hanging on for dear life. Until the final orgasm is like being shot out of a cannon into the night landing safe in a feather bed.
I promise you, it will be the most intensely pleasurable experience of your life--right up there with death and birth in magnitude and a hell of a lot more fun.
Orgasm, of course, is a Wiccan Sacrament, as are all acts of joy.
Now, what is your deepest desire? For me it is often to have the most earth-shattering, transporting, ascending, orgasm possible--simple--but it could also be to hook up with a particular someone in the future. If that is the case, visualize the person as they might be in that moment. When you have them in focus detonate screaming screaming his or her name. This sets off a ripple effect in the Universal Energy that produces the desired result. This is magyc pure and powerful. It works so well for me that the person sometimes phones before I have even fully recovered my composure. Fortunately, they are just as flummoxed and don't know what to say or why they called.
Try not to giggle.
However, others have said that this process can throw them off track just as they are about to reach satisfaction. I don't know if this is something that can be overcome with practice or not. Everyone is different. So, if magyc gets in the way, just enjoy the sex and learn to focus later.
Also, I think this sexual technique works best for summoning a lover or rekindling a passion in another-- Love spells LUV--not so much for other types of workings. The process , however, is the same for any form of magyc: attain a state of high consciousness in the Now and focus on the desired result--will it to happen.
Come for the Sex, Stay for the Enlightenment : )
So may it be
P. S. I've been asked about gay sex.
What's the problem? This certainly isn't a Wiccan or Pagan issue. Only Christians think sex must be between two married adults--one of each gender--or both are condemned to hell.
Jesus himself apparently acted otherwise, taking young men naked to his bed to introduce them to the ways of magyc. (see From the letters of the most holy Clement, the author of the Stroma...). Jesus was, after all, a Pagan and probably a witch. (see Jesus the Pagan).
And for you women: Jesus said, "Look, I will guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of Heaven." (see Gospel of Thomas)
I've been asked for additional information on how a Wiccan of the gay persuasion might hook up with others of like mind.
Well, there are two paths I know of that uphold the view that sexual polarity need not require a person of opposite gender. The first is Dianic Wicca. As the name implies, members of this group worship the Goddess Diana or Artemis. In ceremonies typically used to generate male/female power the athame is replaced by another cup. So that instead of the personification of the Goddess offering her cup to the personification of the God, symbolized by the athame, wine from one woman's cup is poured into the other and back again. It is also possible to have one woman take the role of the God.
The other path is Feri (or Faerie or Faery). Here the exchange is usually between men and is similar to the often flamboyant gay lifestyle (or "Fey" ) with a spiritual flavor.
As for patron deities, besides Diana, Artemis, Zeus, who pretty much did whom they pleased irregardless of gender, we have Aphrodite Urania (Greek) who is the Goddess of Butch and Bassareus (Greek again, what a surprise) who is the feme' counterpart of Dionysus who dresses is woman's clothing and seduces pretty boys. In the Nordic pantheon we have Loki who often cross dresses to trick his victims. In the Sumerian tradition, Inanna does him one better by actually changing genders at will.
Also, I've been asked--repeatedly--to make it easier to contact me regarding specific questions about Wiccan sex and other aspects of Wiccan spirituality. Okay, but I'm not the last word on this or any other topic. But we can talk. Reni@spells-witchcraft.org
*If you like vibrators, they can help too, since they provide constant controllable stimulation nearly free from our varied ministrations in that we don't have to do anything but feel.