I wanted to get out of Lloyd and I did now I'm here in Banff and really I want to run away again.. It's not what I had hoped it would be, I figured I'd make tons of friends here and love my job. But here I am feeling second par to the other girls here and frusterated and anxious about my new job. And it's not just new job jitters, I enjoyed it at first but now that I know what I'm doing I can't stand it, I feel so run down all the time. I've gained so much weight in the past few months and I have a feeling my depression is sneaking its way back into my life. I can't find the peace that I wanted so much. I want to feel accepted and in harmony with my surroundings, I find I can't do what most the people here can do I'm so out of shape I miss out on alot of outdoor activities. How can you get in shape if the only things to do in this town are extreme sports that I can't possibly accomplish. I don't want to admit to my family and friends that I'm not settled here, I don't want to go back. I don't want to change where I am I want to change who I am. Why can't I be like everyone else? Super outgoing and fit and happy I just can't see why I can't have that life too... I've tried soo hard all my life to be a skinnier me but I have never seen success. Literally all my life has been dieting, I'm sick of being different I want to be normal, and wear normal clothes be able to do activities without being hindered. I figured this move would change everything, but in reality it's just made my life a lot harder.